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How to use peace as a strategy during divorce

During times of stress, it can be more difficult to remember everything that is important. Using acronyms can be useful in a number of situations, perhaps most commonly when studying for exams. One that New Jersey residents could apply in the case of divorce might be "peace."

Each divorce is different, but most of them share at least some commonality. When a couple have children, the first thing that would likely come to mind is parenting (hence the "p" in "peace"). This includes child custody, visitation and support payments, as well as things such as vacations and holiday periods. Where children have special or specific needs, these may also form part of a formal agreement, such as payments for medical costs.

Equitable distribution (the "e" in "peace") is used in New Jersey to determine the division of property. Alimony (the "a") will usually form part of these considerations, and it will be up to both sides to present their cases for the amounts they suggest. It may create more harmony, as well as saving time, if both parties can agree on what they consider to be fair. Contesting the amounts (the "c") suggested will mean using the legal process to put the case before a judge, who will then take all information into account in order to make his or her decision.

Everything else (the "e") helps in moving forward. Where there is acrimony, things may progress more slowly without the aid of a mediator. If there are valuable assets involved, the recipient may require advice that can't be provided by an attorney (i.e. from accountants or financial planners) in order to optimize his or her future wealth. For New Jersey residents who do not have the benefit of close friends or family for emotional support, it may be helpful to consider talking to a counselor in order to work through the more painful and personal aspects of the divorce process.

Source:, "Financial strategies to negotiate a divorce settlement", Jim Zientara, April 17, 2017

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