While many couples can go to mediation and work through their issues instead of litigating their divorces, there are other times when mediation may not be the best solution. How do you know the difference? Fortunately, there are ways to tell.
In every case, it's advisable to speak with your attorney first about negotiating with the other party. Once you know what you want, you can commence negotiations If the other party doesn't respond, then you may have no choice but to go to arbitration or trial and have a judge determine the outcome of your divorce. That's just one circumstance where mediation might not work.
If violence was involved, mediation should be off the table
It depends on the circumstances, but if violence was a part of your relationship, mediation usually isn't viable. It pits victims against their abusers, and usually is too great of a risk. Abusive partners may not be able to see your side of things, either, so mediation doesn't work well. Arbitration, on the other hand, is a possible option.
You don't want to settle
It should go without saying, but if you're not willing to negotiate and settle with your spouse, then mediation won't work. Mediation requires both parties to work together to create a settlement on which they can both agree. If you won't be happy no matter what happens, then mediation won't work for you.
Mediation has many more benefits than downsides. It can speed up the divorce process and help couples work through some of the problems that came up during the marriage. You can learn to handle your problems differently and to communicate better with your ex. If you two can come together to work out a settlement with some support from a mediator, it's a good idea to try to do so.