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Protecting your children's emotions in a New Jersey divorce

Divorce is usually very hard on the people divorcing, but it can also cause a lot of strain for any children in the family. In fact, a parental divorce can seem incredibly destabilizing to young children. A divorce can disrupt their emotional stability, sense of identity and concept of social order.

It may even require some counseling for children to work through their emotions. Some emotional upheaval is inevitable in a divorce, but much of the worst impact potentially caused by divorce can be avoided if parents commit to putting their children first.

Your children should never witness fighting

The first and most important rule to shielding your children from the emotional fallout of divorce is to avoid arguing in front of the children. It can be difficult when you still see your ex routinely for custody exchanges. However hard it may be, it's important to remain calm and civil.

If you disagree about something, you should communicate in writing via text or email, through your attorneys or at a future time when you are calm and the children aren't present. Even going to court can be emotionally difficult for children, as they may have to witness their parents testify against one another.

Keep things consistent and stable at both households

Divorce causes upheaval to the daily life of children, because their routines and schedules change when they must move between two households. One of the best ways to minimize the stress caused by shared custody is to have consistent rules in place that both parents agree to.

If the rules are the same everywhere, then there is very little reason for the children to become confused or frustrated with the expectations at either house. This requires both parents agreeing to terms in a comprehensive parenting plan.

Try to focus on what your kids need when you can't agree with your ex

It's common to have disagreements, especially when setting the terms for something as important as a parenting plan. Focusing on what your kids need and putting their best interests first can help guide you to making the best plans and solutions for your family.

If you find that you and your spouse simply cannot agree on terms, it may be time to consider mediation. Mediation can help you find a workable compromise that allows you to file for an uncontested divorce in New Jersey. Mediation shields children from the arguments involved in a contentious litigated divorce and can even allow for a faster overall process.

If you believe it may be possible to agree to terms for custody and other major decisions in your marriage, you might want to consider mediation as a solution to moving forward.

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  • Best Readers Choice Awards Of Essex | 2018
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Melissa Cipriano: Honored as a "Best of New Jersey Among our Most Distinguished Americans of Italian Descent" and conferred the "Stivale D'Italia Award of Excellence" by the Italian Tribune for her "honesty, integrity and dedication to fair and ethical business practices" and her "outstanding reputation as a Woman Whose Word is Her Bond".

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