Gray divorce occurs when older adults decide to end long-term marriages. Gray divorce has become increasingly common in recent years.
Many people find this phenomenon surprising, as they expect that those who have stayed married for years should remain married indefinitely. However, there are several common reasons that older couples may decide to get a gray divorce. What issues may inspire spouses to end a marriage after decades together?
1. Empty nest syndrome
Many couples bond over raising children together. They may then find themselves struggling to reconnect when the children grow up and leave the family home. Parents sometimes feel more like roommates than romantic partners and may decide to divorce when their children become independent.
2. Disparate financial circumstances
Perhaps one spouse is a spender while the other is a saver. Perhaps they come from vastly different economic backgrounds. As couples begin preparing for retirement or settling into a life lived on a fixed income, they may realize that their different financial circumstances and values create a lot of strain on the relationship.
3. Infidelity
Adultery is not only an issue for younger couples in the early stages of marriage. One spouse’s libido might decline with age, while the other’s might remain relatively strong. Years of familiarity could diminish the spark in the relationship, leading to one spouse looking for intimacy elsewhere. Infidelity can abruptly destroy marriages that lasted for decades.
4. Major health challenges
Advanced age often brings with it changes in physical health. In some cases, one spouse may develop major medical challenges. Sometimes, spouses divorce because one of them has health issues and the other does not wish to act as a caregiver or adjust their lifestyle to reflect the medical restrictions of their spouse.
5. Differing retirement dates
Perhaps there is an age gap in the relationship, or maybe one spouse left the workforce and then returned years later. There are many reasons why one spouse may retire significantly earlier than the other. Differing lifestyles between working and retired spouses can lead to conflict that spouses may not be able to overcome.
6. Growing apart over time
One may have found religion or lost their faith. One spouse may have shifted their political values. A significant number of gray divorces occur because spouses have simply grown apart over the years. Disputes about values or a lack of communication between the spouses throughout the marriage can result in them feeling like strangers who barely know one another.
Individuals considering gray divorce often need help strategizing. Divorcing later in life requires a careful approach to minimize the financial disruption that divorce can generate.