Most divorces don’t just “happen” out of nowhere. Instead, many marriages stumble along, quietly failing, for years before one spouse decides that they have had enough.
Even then, few spouses abruptly walk out of the door and away from their marriages. If you know you want a divorce, hold onto the clarity of your decision – and then take the following steps:
Get acquainted with your finances
Most people have a rough idea of their financial picture – but you need to start gathering concrete facts. Even if your spouse normally handles the household finances, you should make copies of:
- Bank and retirement account statements
- Recent tax returns (last 2-3 years)
- Pay stubs and bonus records
- Retirement account statements
- Mortgage and home equity loan information
- Credit card and personal loan statements
- Insurance policies in either spouse’s name
- Business ownership records and revenues
- Records involving valuable personal property
Make copies of records you can legally access and keep them somewhere secure. Divorce can get much more complicated if you lose access to your accounts or documents.
Also, obtain a copy of your credit report so you know which debts appear in your name. This can also help identify joint accounts or debts you may have forgotten about.
Start separating your money from your spouse’s money.
If you do not already have a bank account in your own name, open one. Don’t drain your joint account to do it, but move your direct deposits to the new account as quickly as possible.
The goal is to begin establishing some financial independence while avoiding actions that could create problems later.
Figure out your immediate housing options
What do you think will happen once you tell your spouse you want a divorce? Since living together once the announcement is made can be difficult, you need to have a plan. Do you intend to just move into a spare bedroom until you can better assess the options? Can you afford your own apartment while still keeping up with the household bills? Could you stay with relatives for a bit?
Know where you intend to go if you suddenly cannot live in the family home any longer. That can prevent you from burning through money for hotel rooms or living out of your car in desperation.
You don’t need to have every little detail figured out before you file for divorce. However, a little preparation can help you start your new life on a better footing and avoid unnecessary surprises. Experienced legal guidance can make it easier to take an informed approach to the decisions that lie ahead.