When a marriage is over, it can be difficult to envision working together toward a common goal. After all, if you were getting along, there might not be a need for a divorce. However, just because the relationship as a couple is over does not mean that it is unfeasible to work together as parents to minimize the impact of a New Jersey divorce on the children.
During the process, parents can make the agreement not to speak ill of each other or argue in front of the children. They should also not be made to feel as though they are messengers for the parents because they are unable to talk to each other. What they need most during this time is to know that despite the circumstances, both parents love them and want what is best for them.
This includes finding a way to make the transition from one household to two as seamless as possible. It will be impossible to avoid some upset, but it can be minimized if parents work together. Whatever plan the parents come up with, they could serve as the foundation of their permanent child custody agreement. A parenting plan often includes more than just a visitation schedule, and the actions taken by parents in the weeks following the filing of the divorce could set the tone for the agreement.
Regardless of what decisions the parents make, how they feel about each other as a couple should not be a consideration. In most cases, New Jersey residents would not deny that the other parent loves the children and deserves to be part of their lives despite the divorce. Furthermore, if the parties are able to negotiate their own child custody agreement, they are often more invested in making sure that it will work for the whole family and will adhere to its provisions.
Source: lifehacker.com, “Three Ways to Make a Divorce Easier on Your Kids“, Heather Yamada-Hosley, Aug. 30, 2016