Every child has unique needs when their parents separate or divorce. The age of a child, their sex and their health can influence custody decisions. When parents share a child with special needs, divorce proceedings can be much more difficult to navigate.
Children with special needs are more likely to struggle with major changes to their family units than their peers. They also require more careful planning on the part of their parents. Parents who have a child with Down Syndrome or another disabling condition may need to take the three factors below into consideration as they prepare for divorce court or negotiations.
The long-term needs of the child
Many children with special needs do not ever become fully independent. They may continue living with their parents for life or may eventually move into a group home to socialize with others who have similar medical challenges. Standard custody and child support arrangements only last until a child becomes an adult. Parents of children with special needs may need to have a plan in place for the lifetime care needs of the child and the demands those needs may place on their parents.
The disruptions caused by divorce
Children generally benefit from consistency and structure. This is especially true for children with special needs. When parents divorce, many previously stable parts of a child’s life change rapidly. They may have to live in a different home, travel back and forth between houses and change schools.
Parents who have a child with special needs may want to plan carefully to minimize changes and schedule disruptions. They might attempt a birdnesting custody arrangement to keep the child in the home they have always known. They might even agree to have one parent take the child for the vast majority of the time to keep caregiving as consistent as possible.
The impact on other children
Caring for a child with special needs can be particularly difficult after a divorce when there are other children in the family. Parents with multiple children and a child with special needs may need to approach custody arrangements more carefully. For example, they may agree to have one parent take the other children the majority of the time so that a specific parent can serve as the primary caregiver for the child with special needs. Helping ensure that all the children in the family receive appropriate support and that the child with special needs can maintain their relationship with both parents and their siblings can be quite challenging.
Parents may need to look at ways to work cooperatively instead of fighting with each other during a divorce if they share a child with special needs. Establishing appropriate custody arrangements can be beneficial for the entire family, especially the child with special needs. Divorcing couples who recognize how unique challenges alter their options can handle their stressful circumstances gracefully and with a focus on the needs of their children.