With Halloween over, many families’ thoughts will be turning to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year. However you like to celebrate these occasions, things are likely to be different if you are divorcing.
The following tips can help you and your children to enjoy these special festive dates as much as possible given the circumstances.
1. Don’t turn it into a competition over presents
Some family members can get very competitive over festive occasions. Don’t get locked into this kind of battle with your co-parent. It’s not classy and it’s harmful for your kids and potentially for your wallets, too. Better is to buy a present between you, or agree to a maximum spend. That said, provided you handle it right, there is no real issue with one parent spending more than the other because sometimes the reality is one parent has more money than the other. If you play it right you can help your children understand that the value of an item is about much more than just the ticket price.
2. Compromise for the sake of the children
Maybe you would love to spend the whole week between Christmas and New Year at your parent’s house in another state. Yet, if, this will prevent your child from seeing their other parent at all during the festivities, it might not be the best option for your child, or your co-parent. Try to always put your children’s best interests first and seek compromises that you and your co-parent feel OK with.
3. Explore all alternatives
Maybe your co-parent is willing to let you take the kids out of state for the whole week. If, in exchange, they get to have the children over Thanksgiving and you promise to have the kids video call them at certain points when you are away. There are many ways to work things and it’s important to give them all fair consideration.
One final thing you may want to do is put some of this in writing. You can do that as part of your parenting plan, as well as accounting for the majority of the year outside the holidays.