Christmas can be absolutely magical for children, but it can also present a lot of challenges for parents who are newly separated or divorced. Coordinating gift-giving between two households requires a little extra planning if you want to avoid issues and focus on creating joyful memories for the kids.
Here are some strategies that can help co-parents navigate the holiday gift-giving and create a positive experience for everyone:
Communicate early and often
Open and proactive communication is key to avoiding misunderstandings that evolve into real problems. Co-parents need to take a cohesive approach to the holiday gift-giving. This means:
- Set a budget and stick to it. You’ll avoid conflict more easily if you and your co-parent agree on some spending limits.
- Be fair about the costs. Child support is for a child’s basic needs, not holiday gifts. If you’re paying support, realize that you’ll need to put additional money into the presents.
- Be respectful of boundaries. For example, if you know that your co-parent won’t welcome video games rated for “Mature” players, don’t buy the kids those games.
- Avoid competition. If a child wants a special gift, consider putting both your names on the “big” item so that neither you nor your co-parent feels like they have to compensate with some other extravagance.
- Be willing to share. Do you and your co-parent both want to see the kids open their gifts on Christmas morning? Consider a coordinated event – even if one parent has to join by video. That way, neither of you miss out on the important moments.
Finally, remember: The focus of the holiday season needs to remain on the children. You and your co-parent can work out whatever other differences you have at some other time, with or without legal assistance.