It may seem like the only time you hear about a husband receiving alimony after a divorce is when his wife is a celebrity and by far the larger earner of the two. In fact, it’s not as uncommon for women in all kinds of professions to be ordered to pay their husbands alimony as it used to be.
The same factors apply to determining whether someone is entitled to alimony, how much and for how long, regardless of what gender each spouse is – at least as written in the law.
How is this playing out in the courts?
In fact, as one former chair of the American Bar Association’s family law section says, “The law is written to be gender neutral and blind, but that it isn’t always the case. More women are now working in prestigious positions, and more husbands are staying home with the kids, but men receiving support is still the exception rather than the rule.”
The head of the American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers says she’s found that judges tend to award men less spousal support and for a shorter period than women. Further, men are often more likely to be required to prove that they’re looking for a job that fits their earning potential than women are.
Circumstances in which alimony may be warranted
Certainly, divorcing men have the same right to seek alimony as women do if they’ve been out of the workplace for some time as a stay-at-home parent (a role often decided on mutually by a couple based on who has the higher-paying job). The same is true if they were the primary breadwinner while their spouse earned a graduate or professional degree or they stepped back from their own career to help their spouse build theirs.
Husbands can also seek alimony that allows them to continue their marital standard of living if that was largely based on their wife’s income. New Jersey law states that family court judges can consider the “standard of living established in the marriage…with neither party having a greater entitlement to that standard of living than the other.”
If you’re a divorcing husband seeking alimony from your soon-to-be ex-wife (or husband), it’s important to realize that some judges still have a double standard when it comes to spousal support. That simply means that you may need to work harder to make a strong case for why this support is crucial as you move on with your life after divorce. Having experienced legal guidance can be critical to making that case.