It is somewhat common for parents to take issue with certain details of a shared custody order. In some cases, the children subject to the order also disagree with the family’s arrangements. Older children, including teenagers, may have very strong feelings about spending time with one of their parents. In some cases, they may outright refuse to spend time with one parent despite a custody order.
Can a teenager decide on their own behalf that they do not want to follow the custody order?
Children don’t control custody arrangements
The parents who share custody may have worked together for weeks to establish effective arrangements for the family. A judge may also have made determinations about the allocation of parenting time. Regardless of who set the terms in a custody order, there is an expectation that everyone in the family should uphold the order.
If children refuse to spend time with one parent, the other parent should encourage them to follow the order anyway. In scenarios where the children feel very strongly and have a valid reason, such as a history of abuse or neglect, it may be possible to request a custody modification.
The courts may consider the child’s preferences when deciding how to adjust or modify the custody order, as well as other factors. The goal is to prioritize the child’s best interests.
Judges may require that the child attend counseling with their parent to work through their issues or may keep the custody order as it stands. The parents need to work together to help heal the connection between the child and the parent who they do not want to see.
Taking appropriate steps to modify or enforce a custody order may be necessary in cases where children do not want to spend time with one parent. Children generally do not control custody arrangements, as they may lack the maturity and insight to appropriately consider the impact of their preferences.