Going days without seeing their children can be difficult for recently divorced or separated parents. Their feelings of loss and loneliness may be more intense on certain special days.
Holidays, birthdays and other special events are important to consider when establishing a shared custody arrangement. Parents trying to plan for those meaningful days have several different options available to them, including the three common strategies briefly explained below.
1. Alternating special days
In an alternating holiday schedule, parents identify each of the important events that recur annually. Parents can then establish an alternating schedule. They see the children for every other holiday and special event each year. They then have the opposite holidays and special days the following year.
2. Splitting special days
If parents live near each other, then splitting individual holidays, birthdays and other special events may be a practical approach. The children can spend the early part of the day with one parent and then the afternoon and evening with the other. Such arrangements allow both parents to spend time with their children on their special days and to maintain their traditions annually instead of every other year.
3. Sharing special days
When a divorce or separation is amicable and parents can interact graciously with one another, they may be able to continue sharing special days with their children. This arrangement can be particularly beneficial for those who may have large family celebrations or significant distances between their homes that make travel more of a challenge.
Creating a working arrangement for shared custody requires careful planning. Parents with thorough parenting plans can often minimize the conflict that arises as they raise their children together.