The holidays are almost upon us. Our schedules will soon be filled with family gatherings, shopping, parties and school plays.
While holidays are joyful occasions filled with celebration and togetherness, for parents who are no longer together, they can be a logistical nightmare. However, with clear communication and thoughtful planning, co-parents can focus on what matters most: the children.
Communicate early and often
Most parenting plans address details around holidays and school breaks, such as:
- Who has the children during major holidays, and if those holidays rotate every year
- Travel permissions
- How to handle school breaks and long weekends
If your current parenting plan is vague, consider discussing revisions. As your children grow, their needs will change. And even if your plan does address those areas, it’s essential to review them before making any plans.
If one parent plans to travel with the children during the holidays, they need to inform the other parent as soon as possible. Clarify key details such as:
- The dates of travel
- Contact information
- Lodging and itinerary
- If anyone else is traveling with them
It’s helpful to use a parenting app or shared calendar so that both of you have the same information. Having it in writing can prevent misunderstandings.
Stay flexible
The time you have with your children is precious, and it can be hard to give any of it up. However, it’s important to remain flexible. Life events and travel opportunities sometimes require both parents to adjust their plans. After all, being cooperative with your co-parent this year may make them more willing to accommodate your request in the future.
Holidays are full of traditions, and it may not be easy to adjust to the new family dynamic. Splitting holiday time between two households doesn’t mean that your children need to miss out on special memories. Many families create two celebrations, such as celebrating Thanksgiving the weekend before the holiday or having a second winter holiday sometime after New Year’s. The date on the calendar matters less than the time you spend together.
Holiday discussions with your co-parent should always focus on your children’s well-being. Consider their age, school, extracurricular activities and emotional needs. Reducing conflict between parents helps reduce stress and guilt for the children.
If you are having difficulties with your parenting plan with your co-parent, you should seek the help of a legal professional. They can help ensure that your rights are protected with a plan that allows both parents to spend quality time with their children during the holidays and throughout the year.