Increasingly, couples are choosing mediated divorces rather than litigated ones. Mediation can be a less expensive and less time-consuming option and a more private one since fewer documents are filed with the court and couples spend less – if any – time there.
Certainly, mediation isn’t right for every divorcing couple. However, too many people don’t even seriously consider it because they have inaccurate assumptions of it based on movies, television and accounts by family, friends and colleagues. Let’s look at a few of these misconceptions along with the reality.
Mediation is only for amicable divorces
In reality, mediation can work when couples have negative feelings toward each other and even when they disagree about certain issues, like child custody, financial support or property division. They do, however, need to agree to work together respectfully with the guidance of a trained mediator to resolve those disagreements.
Mediated divorce is not recommended, however, if there has been any kind of abuse (physical, emotional or verbal) in the relationship or if one or both spouses is dealing with a substance abuse or mental health disorder.
A litigated divorce is the only way to get a fair settlement
Spouses who are mediating their divorce can and should each retain an experienced attorney for consultation. They don’t have to forgo legal guidance.
They can also consult with financial, tax, real estate and child behavioral professionals separately or together as they work out their agreements. Of course, the expense and length of the divorce will increase with the amount of time and work these professionals spend on the case.
You can’t transition to a litigated divorce once you’ve begun mediation
In reality, it’s not especially unusual for a couple to begin mediation and then find that they can’t reach the necessary agreements. In some cases, a mediator may determine that the mediation cannot or should not move forward. In either case, a litigated divorce is typically the only path forward to divorce.
The more spouses know about what to expect if they mediate their divorce, what is expected of them and what the mediator’s role is (and is not), the better their chances are of making the best choice for their unique circumstances.