Divorce is not easy on anyone, and the news of parents separating can be especially difficult for children. Sharing the news with them is essential, but there are some strategies to use that will help reduce emotions and stress.
The exact words and strategy that you use vary based on the ages of your children, but there are some general guidelines.
Prepare what you will say
There are usually strong emotions when it comes to talking about divorce. For a less emotional approach, Psychology Today recommends planning what you will say together. You should also pick a time to tell the kids that is not rushed and allows them to express their feelings without having to be somewhere afterward.
Take a united front
Although you and your spouse are not going to be together anymore, you will always be parents to your children. It is important to reiterate this message by telling them the news together. If you have more than one child, tell everyone initially at the same time, and then you can follow up individually.
Give a general explanation
You should not give details about why you are divorcing, but children want to know the reasons why. Give them a general reason and make sure they know it was not their fault.
Enforce a no-fault narrative
According to www.healthychildren.org, it is imperative that children do not blame themselves for the divorce. You should also avoid placing blame on either parent, no matter what the reasons are for the divorce. The message throughout the process should be that you both love your children very much and that they feel safe and secure.