Do you want to end your marriage amicably? How you initiate that first, all-important conversation with your spouse can set the tone for your entire divorce process.
If you approach the situation with empathy, honesty and respect, you may find that all of your communications with your spouse surrounding the split go a lot more smoothly. Here are some tips:
1. Choose the right time and place
You don’t want to drop this kind of news when your spouse is about to head away for a week-long business trip or the night before your parents arrive for a week-long visit. Pick a time when both you and your spouse are free from distractions so that you can have an open dialogue. Make sure that you also pick a setting where you are both comfortable.
2. Be honest and direct
There’s nothing to be gained by talking around the subject or giving false hope. When discussing your decision to end the marriage, be clear about your feelings and intentions. Avoid placing blame or focusing on what your spouse did wrong, focus on your own emotions and experiences. There is no point rehashing old arguments when you’re sure you’re leaving – and no point in agreeing to try a little longer if you’re not committed.
3. Don’t make immediate demands
You may have a very clear idea of how you would like the divorce to go, including who will get what assets and debts, how the custody of the kids will be divided and what happens to the family home. This is not the time to bring all of that up. Focus on allowing your spouse time to move through the emotions of the situation before you start talking about the details.
When you’ve decided to divorce, it can help to learn more about the process, your rights and your options. That way, you’ll feel confident moving forward.